"Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone’s answering machine? Hi, It’s a great day and I’m out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is ‘Share the love. ‘"Beep." "Uh, yeah…this is the VD clinic calling…Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love."
"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."
"To alcohol, the nights that you’ll never remember, with the friends you’ll never forget!"
"There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men don’t think there’s a lot they don’t know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I’m doing, just show me somebody naked."
"Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?"
PAGE TOP