Breaking out of this shell of a life

I finally saw the sun today.

It sure was bliss… really really standing there and enjoying its warming rays on my skin. Funny isn’t it? Not seeing the sun everyday? In my line of work, seeing the rays from my monitor are much more constant than the sun. The computer is turned on once I wake up, then the comp shuts down for the night as I climb into bed. Sometimes, I don’t even shut it down for days. Crap.

 

 

 

 

For the past 2 weeks (maybe even almost a month but who’s counting?), I’ve only ventured out of the apartment - 1) to meet with my major project lecturers or 2) when I run out of food. *sheessshhhh* What kind of life is that?

 

Yes, I know… relax and take it easy, right? But my inner perfectionist will scream its head off and drive me insane. Miss Responsible. Miss Boring. Miss Work-a-holic. Miss Over-achiever. How did I end up being all that? I suppose having failed terribly once in my life, I’ve learnt never to repeat that particular mistake again!

 

What’s your motivation, Tsuqi? To prove that I’m not a failure in this lifetime.

How will you accomplish that? By driving myself harder than ever and never taking anything for granted. 

 

Yet with this attitude comes the talent for ridding myself of all humour. I’m wrung out, dried and shrivelled up. Yet today, just seeing the sun again made me so darn happy… I feel almost human again! Wow.